Shamanic Drumming Part 1

I found myself in a quandary upon receiving an invitation to participate in a shamanic drumming session. I didn't have a clue what it was about besides hearing the word "Shaman" in the name. Shaman...like witch doctor. I did a google search and after reading a few websites discovered in essence it is a journey you take into the spirit world to receive some sort of healing. Part of the process is discovering your spirit animal. I hope mine is an otter.

In fact, I looked up what the otter animal symbolizes and it was striking.  So a little background before I explain otter.

I have been spending a lot of time reading and listening to podcasts...probably too much.  But I am trying to understand the universe, reality, myself .  Are we alone, am I alone, what does life mean if we just die and that's it? Is there spirit? Does consciousness come from matter or does matter come from some all-pervasive consciousness? Is religion man made foolishness? Or is it a source of deep collective human wisdom that has stood the test of time? Is drumming a hokey primal practice for weirdos or is it an insightful approach to dealing with the fractures in the human condition? I've heard conflicting reports and am yet unable to sort it out.

My family has felt somewhat neglected because of the energy of my searching.  I've noticed my desire to work out evaporated.

I was talking with my counselor today and she said that asking the big questions in life isn't comfortable.  If you want to be comfortable, don't dig deep, just go for the hallmark version of things.

Which brings me to otter:
Observing Otter it becomes very apparent that these creatures see life as a true playground to be filled with family and friends. Very often Otter shows up in people’s lives when they’ve become too serious, over-think things and lose sight of their inner child. One of Otter’s mottos is: play as if no one is looking (and if possible have someone join you!).

Maybe I need to lighten up. For me that doesn't mean let go of the big questions. Rather it means, slow down and query the angst and energy driving  it. Is there a way to explore this fantastic world with wonder rather than desperation fueled by a hilariously unrealistic expectation that I will somehow understand it all?  I hope so. 

Man, if I turn out to have a warthog or something as my animal I'm going to be pissed.  So now to go  play...